A City of Heroes & Villains
by Emperor Justin
Summary: One's an alien with self-doubt and an extraterrestrial personality disorder!  Another's a robot with a foul mouth and a superiority complex!  And another's a blind mage and a pervert!  Together, they fight crime!


**A City of (New) Heroes**

Kahoku sat on one of the several fountains surrounding the enormous statue of Atlas that gave Atlas Park its name. In his sleeveless old trench-coat, jeans, and plain black t-shirt, nobody would ever mistake him for a super hero. The only giveaways where his stark white hair with the odd blue streaks, and his vaguely luminescent eyes, both courtesy of the alien sharing his body. And perhaps the elegant katana slung across his back, courtesy of an old friend. But even if he were wearing the most audacious costume in the city, he doubted anybody would notice at the moment.

All attention was centered around a mass of reporters from CNN, MSNBC, Fox, and Paragon City's local news networks assembled at the foot of the stairs leading up to City Hall. Photographers snapped pictures and field reporters stretched as best they could toward the very handsome man standing at the top of the stairs behind a podium decorated with the official seal of Paragon City.

The man was almost seven feet tall and had a jawline like an armored truck. His hair was blond, with a single gray streak on the left temple that made him look dignified rather than old. His uniform was all white, but for the blue circle with a white star in its center on his chest, and his red gloves, belt, and boots. When he smiled, the whiteness of his teeth put the flash of the cameras to shame. The reporters fawned over him, shouting over each other to get one precious soundbite.

"What a douchebag," a mechanical voice beside Kahoku said. Kahoku looked up at the tall robot beside him. He was metallic gray with rich blue highlights, and also wore a trench-coat, though his was dark blue and had a number "7" stitched over the left breast. He also wore loose black pants because he claimed his "frame lacked pockets, duh," and that they were "totally bitchrod," whatever that meant.

"You'd be an expert, eh Monju?" Kahoku's other companion said. He was the shortest of them, just under six-foot and clad in dusky brown robes. He had short black hair and skin turned burnt umber by his years under the desert sun. He also wore a blindfold over his eyes, though this did nothing to obscure his vision, since he was blind anyway.

"Your mom, Al," Monju, the robot, shot back. "And my level of douchbaggery notwithstanding, you have to agree that the Captain there is king Douche of Bag Mountain."

"Shh," Kahoku whispered and held a finger up to his mouth. "The reporters will hear you!"

"No they won't. They've got their heads crammed so far up the Captain's ass they can suck on his uvula," Monju replied.

"What on Earth is a uvula?" Kahoku asked.

"Dangly thing at the back of your throat. How can a human, sorry, half-human, not know this?" Monju asked.

"Because humans can't connect wirelessly to Wikipedia whenever it suits them," Al, the man in brown, replied.

"Speaking of which, I'm just gonna make a few edits to the Captain's wiki page while we stand around," Monju said. Kahoku rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the proceedings on the steps of City Hall.

"Captain Superlative! Captain Superlative!" One reporter from Fox News managed to shoulder her way forward and catch the square-jawed man in white's attention. "Following the death of Statesman, Paragon's foremost hero for decades, some people are claiming you're trying to take his place. Any response to that?"

Captain Superlative smiled wider, displaying teeth so neat and straight that they would make an orthodontist weep with joy. "I'm doing no such thing. Statesman was, and continues to be, a symbol of all that Paragon has stood for in the past and stands for today. Nobody could ever replace him. However, his unfortunate death has left a void that needs to be filled, an extra burden that must be carried, and I am honored to do so, in any small way," Captain Superlative said.

"With all the influence you've gained busting some of the head mages in the Circle of Thorns, your aid in defeating some of the most powerful Praetorian invaders, and foiling thirty-seven of forty Nemesis plots in the last two weeks alone, are you becoming concerned about exposing your identity publicly? What about retaliatory actions against your company?" another reporter asked.

Superlative laughed. "I'm happy to say that since coming out as the CEO of Strong Investments, our stock has soared. My parents taught me to be proud of who I am, and I'm as much Max Strong as I am Captain Superlative."

"Why did you give yourself that retarded name?" another reporter blurted out, and Kahoku scanned the crowd, shocked.

"Monju!" Kahoku shouted. His mechanical partner had pushed through the crowd and was holding out an empty soda bottle as if it were a microphone. Kahoku jumped up from the side of the fountain and began pulling him back, no easy feat given that the bot was more than 6 feet of solid metal and gears and god knew what else.

The crowd of reporters all gaped at him. "It's cool," Monju said as Kahoku dragged him away. "I'm with The Daily Show!" That got a few laughs and Captain Superlative smiled.

"For the noisy robot, and to clarify for the rest of you, my name is not for myself. To be superlative is to be the best, the most, the top. I want to embody a superlative Paragon, a Paragon free of crime and fear, like Statesman did. I've done my best so far, and god willing, will be able to do so for some time to come," the Captain said, to a smattering of applause.

"Hrmph," Monju said as he sat on the edge of the fountain with Kahoku. "I still think it's retarded."

"And what kind of name is Monju Bo...whatever your last name is, with a seven on the end?" Al asked.

"Monju Bosatsu-7 is my given name. I was the seventh model, and was named after a Shinto god of wisdom."

"Shinto god of being an ass, more like," Al said and chuckled. Kahoku covered his mouth to hide his smile.

"Oh yeah, I looked up 'Al-Sifr,' on the web. It means, 'The Nothing.' You're named after nothing. Literally, nothing. So good job there, your parents clearly loved you. Hey, we just gave birth to a son, what should name it? Nothing? Brilliant!" Monju retorted.

"Whatever," Al said and shook his head. "Besides, my registered hero name is 'Desert Gale,' so you should get used to calling me that when we're out like this. Right, Silver Nova?" Al turned his head in Kahoku's direction and Kahoku nodded. Even though he knew Al was blind, indeed, that he had no eyes at all, Kahoku still always got the impression that Al was somehow still seeing him. He shivered slightly.

"I just wish they'd hurry up with the press conference so we could get back inside and get our new security level cards," Kahoku sighed.

"Or at least that that jerk would do his preening elsewhere so I could get in and take care of my own business. Feels like I've been standing around for years," a feminine voice added beside Kahoku. He looked up and immediately jumped to his feet.

"Ms. Liberty!" he said and tried a salute. He'd never been in the military, or the Freedom Corps, and it looked like he was trying to wave a fly away. The woman standing beside him now was shorter than he, dressed in red and blue tights that showed off her athletic figure, with a sword strapped to one curved hip. She brushed some of her blond hair away from her face and glared up the steps at the Captain.

"Woof. Ms. Liberty. Even a blind man could see that you look lovely today," Al said and stepped in front of Kahoku. He took Ms. Liberty's hand in both of his and raised it towards his mouth before she snatched it away.

"You wish," she said.

"He does. I've seen his dream diary," Monju said. Al kicked a foot behind him at Monju's leg, which the robot sidestepped.

"New heroes?" Ms. Liberty asked Kahoku.

"Well, no. We've been working in King's Row and The Hollows, mostly. We just need to get our security clearance upgraded a few levels. I mean, we're still nothing like the Vindicators or the Freedom Phalanx..." Kahoku trailed off. "I was sorry to hear about Statesman. Your grandfather, I mean. He inspired a lot of heroes."

Ms. Liberty smiled sadly. "Thanks. I appreciate it," she said, then nodded at the crowd of reporters. Captain Superlative was rising up into the air, doing a few poses for the crowd, then he took off into the blue sky, up and over the distant glowing war walls that separated all the major neighborhood of the city. Once gone, the reporters quickly dispersed, leaving the way clear to City Hall.

"I should be going," Ms. Liberty said. "What were your names again?"

"Silver Nova," Kahoku said and bowed.

"Monju Bosatsu-7," Monju said and tapped his chest with a metallic bang.

"Desert Gale, Ms. Liberty. Though if you would like to exchange secret identities at some point—" Al said before Kahoku elbowed him in the stomach. Ms. Liberty chuckled and waved at them before heading toward City Hall.

"Good luck you three," she called over her shoulder and disappeared inside. Al was already following her, with Monju following, his internal mechanisms whirring quietly as he moved. Kahoku hopped up off the side of the fountain and entered City Hall behind his friends.

Ms. Liberty had already disappeared down the side hallway that led to D.A.T.A., S.E.R.A.P.H., and the other various acronym agencies that helped heroes of all origins fight crime in Paragon. Kahoku approached the main desk with his companions and waited in line behind several other costumed heroes.

Kahoku lamented his lack of a really snazzy costume as he always did when he was around other heroes. There was a man with a long flowing cape of shimmering material and high quality armor done in vibrant reds and oranges. In front of him was a woman an expensive silken robe highlighted with gold thread and wearing extravagant jewelry.

He tried to console himself that Monju's costume wasn't really anything to look twice at, but Monju was a hi-tech robot. He'd look cool without clothes. Al's costume was simple, but effective. It made him look mysterious and dangerous, especially if he had his sand-colored hood up. Kahoku's costume was really just clothes.

It seemed especially bad with him being host to a kheldian. The energy-based alien lifeforms had come to Paragon years ago, and began co-inhabiting willing hosts, bestowing them with great powers in exchange for their help fighting their enemies, the nictus. From what Kahoku understood, the merging of a kheldian and a human always resulted in a new personality, a combination of the two that was completely in sync. He'd never felt any different though.

_Probably because the kheldian I met was weak and dying,_ Kahoku thought. All the other kheldian/human hybrids he'd met seemed so ethereal and otherworldly. It was as if they'd achieved perfect harmony, or were in a constant zen state, like his old master had tried to teach Kahoku so often.

But not Kahoku. He still worried if his costume was too plain. It didn't help when people like Sunstorm had such flashy outfits. Hell, even the Paragon Police Department had spiffy uniforms for their ascended officers.

"Next!" a woman at the front desk said, interrupting Kahoku's thoughts. He, Al, and Monju stepped forward. The woman was in her mid-fifties at the youngest, and her face was doughy and round. She spilled over the sides of her little chair and regarded Kahoku with a bored expression.

"Ew, Al, it's a fat one," Monju whispered behind Kahoku. "I hate the fat ones. They're even more jiggly than normal biologicals."

"Monju! Shut up!" Kahoku hissed over his shoulder, afraid the woman would hear. She blinked flat brown eyes at him and arched an eyebrow.

"Super Group registration?" she asked.

"No, we're here to get our security level IDs increased. They're a bit out of date," Kahoku said and showed her his card. It featured his picture and other basic information, like his alias, power classification, and so on. "Security Clearance Level 5," was stamped in the corner. Kahoku withdrew a letter stamped by city officials that he was now cleared for level 30, as were Al and Monju.

"Hrm," the woman said as she review the letter. "This is in order. One minute." she typed something into the computer in front of her, and then a little machine spat out a new card for Kahoku with his increased security clearance. Al and Monju both issued her their cards and had them likewise replaced. The woman glared at Monju as she pushed his card at him, then shooed them all away and waved the next in line forward.

They were all walking back outside, Monju putting his card in one of his many pockets, when Al asked, "What else do you keep in there?"

"In my pockets? The apartment keys, any evidence we pick up, some Ziploc baggies for the evidence, a little tool kit for fields repairs, and gum," Monju said.

"Gum? The hell do you carry gum for? You don't even have a mouth!" Al said and laughed.

"It makes a handy adhesive and sometimes I give it to kids when we save them from kidnappers or whatever," Monju replied with an electronic huff.

"How do you get it wet enough for it to stick to anything? Not like you got spit," Al asked. Before Monju could reply, somebody shouted from behind them.

"Hey! You three!" It was Ms. Liberty, jogging down the stairs. "I need you!"

"Ah, thank you, elder gods," Al sighed. "'Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me...'"

"What is it Ms. Liberty?" Kahoku asked.

"There's a problem at the university in Steel Canyon. All the other supers in the area are busy putting out multiple fires the Hellions have set and breaking up Council and 5th Column attacks. I'd deal with it myself, but there's another emergency at Portal Corp. I need to get to. Could you three please handle this for me? I need to tell the Dean somebody's on their way," Ms. Liberty said and pointed at the small communicator she held.

"We're on it!" Kahoku replied. "Tell the Dean we'll be there right away!" And with that he harnessed the power of the kheldian within him and rose into the air.

"Maybe we can get dinner after we save the day!" Al said. He side-stepped into a shadow and vanished, reappearing some distance later.

"I have nothing else to add!" Monju said and lifted off the ground with a blast of his rocket boots. Ms. Liberty waved at the three of them as they took off, then ran off herself.

Kahoku, Al, and Monju all came together a few seconds later at the Atlas Park monorail station. They piled into the rail car with business men getting off lunch, house wives running errands, and other citizens going about their mundane tasks.

"Ah yes, the public transport-mobile. Truly the most dignified way for heroes such as ourselves to get around town. All the villains quake when they hear the quiet hum of this ecologically friendly transport glide into the station," Monju said as a chubby businessman crowded in beside him. "Ah! Kah-I mean, Silver Nova! It's another fat one!"

"Excuse me?" the businessman said.

"You'll just have to deal with it Monju," Kahoku said as the rail car pulled out of the station and began to pick up speed.

"But his fat pouches are touching _meeeee_," Monju whined. The business man turned red and scowled.

"I think those are called man boobs," Al added. Kahoku covered his eyes with a hand and swore to himself.

"Will you both stop insulting me?" the business man demanded.

"If you promise to stop eating cake as a side dish," Monju said, causing the businessman to go from red to deep scarlet and sputter.

"Thank god, we're here," Kahoku said as the rail car came to a stop at the Steel Canyon station. He grabbed Monju by the collar of his trench coat and hauled him out of the car as the businessman began to swear violently. As soon as they were off the monorail, the three of them took to the air (or in Al's case, vanished into it in a swirl of sand and shadow) and streaked toward the university.

Kahoku could hear the signs of combat from blocks away, and saw smoke rising from just beyond the auction house that perched above the university. PPD cars were in the campus courtyard, turned over, dented and smoking. One of them exploded just as Kahoku landed, Monju beside him, with Al stepping out of some other-dimensional portal a moment later.

They all landed next to a PPD officer crouched behind what was left of a squad car. A gout a fire blasted overhead and the officer crouched lower. Kahoku saw several young men in various colored t-shirts shooting fire, ice, and lightning from their hands, while several others covered in thick clumps of dirt and rock hurled chucks of the stone courtyard.

"Thank god you're here! Those psychos have already trashed half a dozen squad cars and injured fourteen officers," the cop said.

"Is it just the Outcasts?" Kahoku asked, referring to the group of elemental-empowered thugs trashing the campus. The officer shook his head.

"Three others, look like villains from the Rogue Isles, broke inside the Midnighter Club a few minutes ago, smashed right through the wards somehow," the officer said. His tan skin was streaked with soot and there were a few gashes on his face. Kahoku guessed he couldn't be much older than him, maybe 25, tops. His name tag said, "Rawlins."

"Stay behind cover Officer Rawlins. Focus on keeping the civilians away and getting your fellow officers out of harm's way. We'll take care of the Outcasts," Kahoku said. He nodded at Monju and Al to make sure they were ready. "Classic start up you two. Monju?"

"You got it!" Monju said and stood up from behind the car and raised his right arm. The end of it transformed into something like a cannon with a series of clicks and whirrs, revealing tubes of glowing blue energy and crackling electricity. The Outcasts were grouped closely together, and Monju fired a bolt of that blue energy straight into their midst.

It exploded like a bomb, pure concussive force radiating outward from the blast point in a wave that knocked the Outcasts off their feet and sent them flying in different directions.

"Go!" Monju said and vaulted over the hood of the police car. Kahoku was already leading the charge, calling on his alien powers to craft a bright, shining shield of white and blue light around him. He shot a bolt of white light from his hand and knocked one of the Outcasts getting to his feet back into the air. The man flew several yards back until he slammed into a brick wall and slid to the ground, unconscious.

"I think he's seen the light," Kahoku said and smirked.

One of the other Outcasts was back on his feet and running towards Al, electrical currents snapping around his fingers and forearms like erratic vipers. Al waved a hand in front of the Outcast, causing shadows to fall over his eyes. The man's face went slack and he turned on one of his fellows and zapped him.

"What the hell Jerry?" another one of the Outcasts demanded of his electricity shooting comrade. Jerry, apparently, ignored his friend's protests and zapped him as well. Just as his confused, blank stare began to clear, Al punched him in the back of the head, his fist clad in swirling sand and shadows.

"A shocking experience, I know," Al said.

"Quipping is stupid!" Monju said as he shot another Outcast with a concentrated burst of energy. The man screamed as he soared through the air and into a window on the second floor of the university.

"You're just jealous you can't do it!" Kahoku said and laughed as he dodged a chunk of pavement thrown by one of the earth-wielding Outcasts. He responded by blasting the man with twin beams of his signature white light from his eyes, and followed it with an energy-infused punch to his jaw.

"I can so!" Monju said, and glanced around the battlefield. Several of the Outcasts had already taken flight at the sight of real heroes showing up. Monju pointed at one currently running from the university as fast as he could.

"Hey! Outcast thug guy!" Monju shouted. As he did, his right arm began to transform again, the short, blunt cannon lengthening into something like a hi-tech rifle. His arm shook and glowed bright blue as the energy inside it charged up. The fleeing Outcast glanced over his shoulder at Monju.

"Your mom is a whore!" Monju shouted and fired the powerful blast he had been holding back. A line of bright azure streaked across the campus, down the street, and slammed into the thug's face with a burst of light that knocked the thug violently to the street and sent him spinning along the asphalt.

"Suck it!" Monju laughed and pumped his rifle arm into the air as it transformed back into its normal fist shape. He was so busy cheering himself that he didn't notice the Outcast behind him, raising a massive claymore made entirely of ice until his shadow fell over him.

"Shiiii—" Monju said and raised his arms in weak defense, when the Outcast stopped. Dark sand swirled around him like a localized dust devil, holding him in place. Only his eyes moved. Al came up behind the unmoving Outcast and casually socked him in the temple, knocking him to the ground.

"That wasn't a quip," Al said and summoned a wave of sand to fall over a group of Outcasts trying to run. It sucked at their feet and pulled them to a standstill. Kahoku had just blasted another pair of Outcasts against the nearby wall and was coming to join his partners.

"Yeah, that was just insulting," Kahoku said. "Quips are like, puns, you know?"

"Yeah I know, and they're still stupid. Mine was awesome. That's gonna be my battle cry from now on."

"We can talk about it later. There's still the people from the Isles inside the Midnighter Club," Kahoku said and jerked a thumb at the building to one side of the campus.

"Officer Rawlins!" Al shouted. The young police officer was helping a small group of students around the side of the building and talking into his radio. A few other officers were coming out of cover, aiming their guns at the remaining Outcasts, who were raising their hands over their heads. "You got the rest?"

"Back up's coming!" Rawlins replied. "Go on! We got the rest of this. And thanks!" Rawlins shouted. Kahoku gave him a wave as he, Al, and Monju sprinted through the ruined entrance to the Midnighter Club.

]||[

_Author's Notes: Hey, it's been a while! Like, over a year! For those of you who have been hoping for an update to the Warhammer 40k/Sonic the Hedgehog crossover, I'm sorry this isn't one. I haven't given up on it, but I think I need to explain something._

_Fanfiction is the absolute last thing I do with my free time, of which I have very little. The reason for the long delay has been due to moving halfway across the world, moving back to America, then leaving again. In addition to that, I wrote two full-length novels in the last year (one of which is currently with a literary agent). That is primarily where my creative energies go. Fanfiction is what I do when I have writer's block and need something to keep the writerly juices going. It is a last resort._

_So updates will come, but they will be sporadic and wonky. _

_So, there's that._

_Now, regarding this fic:_

_Writing a narrative in an MMO 'verse presents some unique challenges. Namely how to integrate certain gameplay mechanics and the metric tons of lore into a compelling story. Some things I'm flat-out going to ignore or change, for instance: medi-porters. Having a gimmick that instantly teleports the heroes away from danger no matter where they are and restores them to 100% health kind of ruins any narrative tension. A story isn't exciting if there's no risk. Also, things like experience and levels._

_The levels I use in this story are like security levels in a government building, rather than indicators of strength. A level one hero isn't necessarily weak, he just has zero security clearance because he hasn't proven himself reliable to the city. And likewise, this kind of thing doesn't exist in the Rogue Isles, because a bunch of villains and law breakers carrying around ID cards is kind of silly._

_I'm pretty caught up on the CoH/CoV lore, but I don't know everything. Mistakes may occur. I ask that if you something seriously horrid, to please correct me in the comments. And also, try to have fun reading this, because I am having some fun writing it._

_Finally, about those books I mentioned earlier, if the Lit Agent doesn't work out, I might be going to Kindle. We'll see. Rest assured, the quality there is better than here. Also, I have a writer-type blog that I update with some regularity if you're curious. _

_Cheers. _


End file.
